These last few weeks have been busy ones here in the Pond. My ‘collection’ has expanded more than twice over since last I reported. I will update you all on what’s been happening:
You already know about Frog Five, but I am sad to report that he no longer qualifies to reside in my Pond. The online system we got connected through offers a ‘matching algorithm’ through answering questions and taking certain tests. Potential matches can read each other’s answers and test results. Through his answered questions – which he invited me to peruse – I discovered to my extreme chagrin that Frog Five had admitted to – how do I say this delicately? – obtaining the services of a…’working girl.’ Now, I realize that many men may have done this in the past – it’s a fact of life. However, having admitted to it publicly leaves me feeling pretty disgusted. In speaking with him about it (which I felt I needed to do), his answer was simply, “Oh that was when I was in the military,” – as if that was all the justification he needed. That might be sufficient justification for him, but all the rationalization and logic in the world will not remove the ‘creep factor’ from my opinion of him. Another question he answered badly was along the lines of, “Is there any justification for cheating on your spouse?” His answer: “Yes” – another red flag. So, this little froggy goes ribbit, ribbit, ribbit – ALL the way home!
If I could offer advice to denizens of the online dating world, I would say that there are questions one should never answer on these systems. Period.
On to the newest frogs:
Frog Six
Early 50s, Six feet tall. Lots of lovely gray hair. Cute as hell, with a deep voice and a sexy southern drawl. Self-employed home inspector. Our first meeting at a trendy coffee shop was very nice – we laughed and had a good time. I had hoped to see him again, and he did call a couple of times afterward, where we chatted for quite some time. But, he did not follow through to directly ask me out. I am not about to go chasing anyone. If he wasn’t moved to ask me out again, I wasn’t going to do it for him.
Frog Seven
Nice enough fellow – early to mid 50s, if I recall correctly. Large and powerfully built, balding, but had short red hair. He was laid off from his job at a large shipping entity, but was going to school. He was very nice, but the conversations we had were not natural and flowing. He tended to talk about what he wanted in a partner – and nothing else. He made some jokes and tended to give me nicknames I didn’t care for. He seemed very needy and did not abide by my requests to limit his contact. His visit to the pond was brief.
Frog Eight
Not much to say about Frog Eight. Nice guy – genuine. Mid-fifties. Retired. Another one with a head full of lovely gray hair. His pictures actually look better than he did in person, sadly. Now, I am not seeking an Adonis – I understand that we gain weight as we age. I am far from perfect, so accept that with the men I meet. Having said that, extreme amounts of weight are an issue – I want my guy relatively healthy. With women, it’s easier to tell what her general body condition is just by seeing the face – most of us gain weight in the face as we gain weight elsewhere; with men, it’s difficult to determine with a photo of just the face and/or chest. In meeting Frog Eight, I saw that he had a bit of a weight issue – it was all in his middle. This is also rather unhealthy – I would like for my guy to have the health to stick around a bit on this earth. Other things contributed to his not ‘flipping my switch,’ so he is no longer in the pond, either.
Frog Nine
When I first met this man, he was not attractive to me in the least. He still isn’t, really, but has a charm and a soft voice and a southern drawl that would melt almost any frozen heart. Rather short in stature, he was a former body builder, so had a nice physique. He is also a psychotherapist and has a huge capacity for compassion. The negatives: He misrepresented his age – by 10 years – so that is a red flag (what else could he be lying about?), he is very recently split from his former partner of more than 20 years and he seems to have a bad relationship with alcohol. We have had some incredible conversations about life, the universe and everything, and I will miss that. But, I cannot get involved with someone like him. We’re supposed to go out Saturday night, but my heart just isn’t in it. I’m not sure what to do there.
Frog Ten
Speaker, writer, ordained minister (!). Charming, but quite unattractive. He admitted to some health issues, so that’s a strike off for me. A bit of an egomaniac – he talks about himself a lot. Most of our conversations on the phone and during the meeting was about him and how much money, property and celebrity connections he has. And, what he’s looking for in a woman. Having said that, he is also a very nice person, and I believe he would make a good friend. He has already asked me a lot of questions about what I know being in my professional world, and appreciates that I am a writer. He has complimented me on my writing skill, and has offered to publish any book I write (he claims to own a publishing company). If this is true, I may take him up on that, but not at the cost of entering into a relationship with him. I believe he has met someone more suitable for him, anyway, as he alluded to that during a recent phone call. So, friends I think we will remain.
Frog Eleven
When I first saw this man’s profile, he didn’t really appeal to me. Sure, he’s handsome and seemed quite polished and sophisticated. But, he is an actor and entertainer – something I never thought I would ever pair up with. He lives in South Carolina, but is up here caring for his ailing mother. Through the algorithms previously mentioned, we seemed to have some core differences in our philosophies. However, we had some lovely correspondence, and I agreed to meet him for coffee. I was in for a big surprise!
As many of you know, I am new to the area, so when he told me where he wanted to meet, I didn’t think anything of it – thought it was just a coffee shop. Au contraire! It was a posh lunch and dinner spot for the very well-heeled! He saw me as I walked toward the entrance, where he greeted me with a friendly, genuine hug and escorted me inside, opening the door for me (nice touch!). I was then presented with a beautiful, single yellow rose! In all of my experience in online dating, only one other ever has presented me with any type of flower, and that was many years ago (and quite a bad experience). Surprised and pleased, I graciously accepted the gift. We were guided to a cloth-covered table, where we sat down and began to talk.
Charming, handsome and polished he certainly was. But, he was also real, genuine, very interesting, intelligent and not egotistical in the least. He did not mention much about who he rubbed shoulders with or what he's done as an actor and entertainer. He is about 6’1”, weighs between 185 and 190 lbs – a former owner of two gyms, so has nice body condition. He is in his mid-50s, but has a full head of hair, dark brown (probably colored, but so what?), piercing blue eyes and a beautiful smile. A born Southerner, his drawl is pronounced - but he speaks articulately, deliberately, with a nice, smooth and soothing tone.
We did not have coffee, but nibbled on a lovely gourmet cheese and fruit plate while drinking a nice wine spritzer – perfect for the hot day – and finished it off sharing a crème brulee. We were there for two solid hours! I had an obligation to be elsewhere at a certain time, so had to take my leave. I did not want to go. And later I learned, he did not want me to go!
We have spent the days since talking to each other on the phone and have a date for Sunday. I have since discovered that he used to breed English bulldogs, so he understands and supports my passion for my dogs and knows his way around a horse, too!
Funny, I haven’t thought much about Frog Two since meeting Frog Eleven…
I do have another potential frog in the Pond. He lives in Richmond, VA, so meeting might be a challenge. Time will tell.
More later,
SA
